Love Diaries: Fiancé revokes proposal ten days later

Love Diaries: Fiancé revokes proposal ten days later - 9Honey
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'The unbelievable thing my fiancé told me 10 days after he proposed'
By Capsule | 2 weeks ago
By Alice Hampson
It had been three-and-a-half years since Marnie and Tom had swiped right and formed an instant connection.
"It was quite crazy really," says Marnie.
"We lived on streets that ran parallel to each other – like a two minute walk from each other. There was a supermarket close by that we went to, a chemist and a little bar where we both liked to go. We must have crossed paths so many times."
"It all happened pretty quickly." (Getty Images/iStockphoto)
But after exchanging a few messages on Tinder they agreed to meet for a wine at the little bar around the corner.
"I didn't tell Tom how close I lived, because I obviously didn't want him to know in case he turned out to be a psycho," says Marnie.
She told him she lived down the road on the third date at the little bar – their third date in as many days.
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"It all happened pretty quickly," says Marnie. "There just didn't seem to be the games I'd felt with other guys I'd met on the apps – like it didn't feel like he was dating around and talking to other people. It was like, we were dating and then very quickly he was my boyfriend – we didn't have a conversation about it at any stage, it's just how it was!"
Marnie knew Tom had been single for about a year, apart from a girl he'd dated for about two months on-and-off. Before then, he'd been in a relationship for nine years, but they'd grown apart.
"They'd met when they were both 23 and Tom said they'd just become different people and broke up," she says.
Now, three-and-a-half years into dating him, Tom told Marnie he'd received quite a decent bonus at work and wanted to book them a holiday.
"It was the middle of winter and he suggested Fiji so, yeah, it was an easy yes," she says.
Her friends were immediately excited.
The sunset proposal was picture perfect. (Getty)
"There had been a lot of weddings and I think they all thought we were next," she says.
And sure enough, as Marnie and Tom walked along the beach at sunset, Tom got down on one knee and proposed.
"He was meant to do it further along at this spot he'd picked out, but he was getting way too nervous," says Marnie. "I'd forgotten about the proposal – I thought he was getting sick or something because he was acting so weirdly and then he suddenly dropped down and I figured it out."
They kept the happy news to themselves that night, but the next morning they started Facetiming their family and friends.
"I was, like, beyond happy," says Marnie. "I felt like I was floating, I was so happy. I remember I just like held my hand up to the camera and waited for my friends to answer the call. It was the best feeling."
When they realised what was going on, a woman in one of the restaurants alongside the beach had taken a few photos of Tom and Marnie during the proposal. The photos were lovely – they were so thrilled to unexpectedly have them – and Marnie posted one up on to Instagram that night.
"It was so sweet," says Marnie. "We were in an absolute daze after the proposal and then this woman came running over with her phone to show us and send us them. And then, yeah, I would be totally lying if I said I didn't get some real satisfaction, I guess, or like, validation from posting the best one on social media. You're already feeling this total high from getting engaged, and then it's intoxicating seeing all the likes and comments from people."
A couple of days later the pair returned home, still on cloud nine. They came home to flowers on the doorstep, and then another big bunch was waiting on her desk at work, from her colleagues. She met up with friends after work for a glass of bubbles, and again with others the next night – although, unfortunately her new fiancé couldn't make it.
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"Man, it was such a high," she says. "It's a bit of a blur. I remember I had what I thought was kind of a joking go at Tom, about how quickly he'd come back down to earth while I was still floating around on this engagement high, but it wasn't something I gave any thought to. Like, that's the norm, I figured. Engagements do seem to mean more to women, so it's normal we'd celebrate and it be a big deal for longer than men."
But, unfortunately for Marnie, there did seem to be more to it for Tom. When she really looks back at it, he seemed just as happy as her during the holiday where he proposed, but he quickly came back and got stuck into work and – if anything – he seemed more stressed and worried than before they left for Fiji.
At first, Marnie figured it was just work. "We'd been away for a week – I thought maybe he had a lot to catch up on," she says.
But, he was suddenly distant – and hard to pin down. "I barely saw him during that first work week," she says. "Yeah, I went out after work a couple of times, but he worked late the others."
Marnie tried to make plans to have dinner with her family to celebrate the engagement on the Friday night, but he had a work commitment. He told her he'd offered to help a mate move house on the Saturday – he'd committed to it a couple of months earlier and didn't want to let them down.
"I was still in the bubble," she says. "I just wanted to be around him and to celebrate."
On the Saturday, he didn't come home until 11pm – way later than Marnie expected him. "I was pretty pissed at him when he got in the door," she says. "I'd made him dinner – he'd obviously had a couple of drinks, but said he'd been helping with the move and was exhausted and just needed to go to sleep."
The next morning when Marnie woke up, Tom wasn't there. He left a note saying he'd gone for a run.
But when he came home, about 10.30am he walked in wearing jeans and a t-shirt, with his head down, unable to look Marnie in the eye.
She had no idea what was going on – and no idea he was about to drop a bombshell.
"He looked like he'd been crying, I was so freaked out," says Marnie. "He sat down on the couch and I, like, had my arm around him, telling him everything was okay, and then he said, 'I can't do this, I can't get married to you.'"
At first, Marnie didn't seem to be able to even absorb the information.
"We're not getting married." (Getty)
"I kept rubbing his back, going, 'you're okay, everything's okay' and he had to be like, 'you're not listening, I'm sorry, I'm leaving, we're not getting married.'"
As Marnie began to understand what he was saying and that he wasn't joking, she asked what the hell had changed in a week. Tom told her that coming back home he'd realised it was a mistake and unfortunately he knew that it wasn't the right thing for him.
"Not to be too dramatic, but I felt like I was dead in that moment," says Marnie. "Nothing would compute, I couldn't take in the information, it was horrible – too horrible. I must have called my mum and she came – he pretty much left straight away."
The next few weeks are a blur. Marnie's mother ended up calling her boss and requesting that she have a week off.
"I remember feeling absolutely humiliated," she says. "There was the pain of the relationship ending but also this massive humiliation – I had just told all these people about the engagement.
It was on social media, I'd been out celebrating! Within 10 days, it was all over already. I don't remember doing it, but I remember the going back and forth about whether to do it – I took down the engagement post from Instagram a few days later."
Marnie had been…

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