Scandalous Facts About Henry II, The Lecherous King

Henry II Of France Was History's Worst Husband?
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Scandalous Facts About Henry II Of France, The Lecherous King
Jun 13
PEOPLE
Rachel Seigel
Where do you even begin with Henry II of France? From his years as a captive in Spain, to his unlikely rise to the throne, to his sudden and violent end, there was never a dull moment for this infamous ruler. The fact that he was part of one of history's most twisted love triangles didn't hurt matters either! It's high time for Hollywood to make a movie about this truly debaucherous king, but for now, dive into these scandalous facts about Henry II of France.
1. He Was A Charmed Child
Before he was Henry II of France, he was the little baby Henry, Duke of Orleans, born to the legendary King Francis I and Claude, Duchess of Brittany. Born in the ridiculously extravagant Château de Saint-Germain-en-Laye, young Henry knew nothing but the lap of luxury from the moment he was born. However, his father had some extremely powerful enemies, and soon enough, Henry would pay the price for his dad's ambition.
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2. His Dad Had Enemies
Henry was born in a time of turmoil. His father, King Francis I, also known as King Francis the Big Nose for pretty self-explanatory reasons, spent years carrying on a very expensive and ultimately pointless conflict with Charles V, the Holy Roman Emperor . Unfortunately, Francis's military ability wasn't quite as outsized his sniffer, and when Henry was young, Charles V's forces captured the French king.
Francis had to think fast—and he ended up abandoning his own son to a grim fate.
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3. His Father Sold Him Out
After the catastrophic Battle of Pavia, King Francis found himself a prisoner in Spain. Desperate to escape back to France, Francis made a truly heartless deal with Charles V. He negotiated his own release...in return for his two sons, Henry and Henry's older brother. Henry was only seven years old when he found himself a victim of the game of thrones, shipped off to Spain as a political captive.
Sound like a pretty cold move from Henry's dad? You don't even know the half of it.
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4. He Was Prisoner Prince
Henry and his older brother weren't initially supposed to stay in Spain for very long, but clearly they weren't very high on their dad's list of priorities. Charles V would have released them if Francis paid a simple ransom, but the French king dragged his feet on the deal. Thanks to daddy's neglect, Henry and his brother spent four long years as captives in Spain.
And despite their royal status, the two boys didn't receive special treatment. Their stay was utterly harrowing.
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5. He Spent Four Years In Hell
Henry had known only comfort and luxury as a boy, which only made his years in Spain all the more nightmarish. He was just a boy, and he had to endure four long years locked away in a stark and isolated castle. Each day, he wondered if he might go home—or if he might meet the headsman's ax. Spoiled brat or not, the experience must have been chilling.
But through all his years in captivity, one particular fond memory kept him going...
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6. He Remembered A Kiss
Just before Henry was taken from France to Spain, a woman two-decades his senior gave him a farewell kiss. Her name was Diane de Poitiers. Henry never forgot about that moment, and when he escaped his captivity, Diane de Poitiers would become the most important woman in his life. The only problem? Diane was  not his wife. That was the infamous Catherine de Medici.
Buckle up, because you're in for one heck of a love triangle.
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7. He Got Married At 14
Things between France and Spain finally cooled down and Henry returned to France along with his brother. Not long after, he married Catherine de Medici, when they were both just 14 years old. To be perfectly honest, it wasn't the most remarkable wedding. Henry was a royal, but he wasn't actually heir to the throne. Catherine was rich, but not a princess or anything.
And even worse, the groom couldn't have been less into his new bride.
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8. His Wife Wasn't Exactly A Catch
One writer described Catherine de Medici as "small of stature, and thin, and without delicate features, but having the protruding eyes peculiar to the Medici family." If she was hoping to find her Prince Charming in Henry II, she had another thing coming. Henry's lack of interest in his wife would be their undoing before long—but for now, at least they were in for one heck of a party.
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9. He Showed Off For His Bride
Though Catherine de Medici's life in France would soon devolve into a total nightmare, at least it started off pretty darn sweet. Her and Henry's wedding was an insanely lavish affair with expensive gifts, grand dances, and a jousting tournament. At least on the big day, Henry did his best to play his part, dancing and jousting for his blushing bride.
Maybe, for a second, Catherine might have thought she could be happy with Henry—but it wasn't long before he showed his dark side.
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10. He Slept Around Constantly
Henry II absolutely loved women—just not his wife. If you think he sounds like a pretty bad guy already, you don't know the half of it: Henry made zero attempt to hide his many mistresses from Catherine. Instead, he flaunted them around the palace for the entire court to see. And one of those mistresses in particular became infamous. You've already heard of her: Diane de Poitiers.
To call Henry and Diane's relationship weird would be an understatement.
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11. He Had A Thing For Cougars
Henry spent all of his years in captivity dreaming of the beautiful Diane de Poitiers, despite the fact that she was old enough to be his mother. Around a year after Henry's marriage, when he was 15 and Diane was 35, she became his chief mistress. That alone was enough to raise eyebrows—but Henry took things so much further than that.
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12. He Flaunted His Infidelity
Henry could not have been more eager to show off his new relationship with his mommy/mistress. Usually, at tournaments, men would wear their wives' colors. But when Henry showed up to the tourneys, was he wearing the gold and red of the Medicis? Nope. He wore Diane's black and white for everyone to see.
It must have been unbearable for Catherine to watch—but that's not even close to the worst part.
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13. His Relationships Were An Insane Mess
In Catherine's defense, she was an awkward teenager who'd just arrived in a strange country. Diane de Poitiers was a strong, confident, beautiful woman in the prime of her life. It's not exactly like Catherine stood much of a chance. But whenever Henry actually deigned to share a bed with his actual wife, it must have been unbearably awkward— for one specific reason .
Diane, for all the fun she had with Henry, realized he needed heirs, so she frequently pushed him…

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